Original title: 不安という悪魔
Source: Diabolik Lovers Bloody Bouquet Vol. 9 Sakamaki Kanato [CD not owned by me]
Audio: Here (00:00 ~ 16:52)
Seiyuu: Kaji Yuki
Translator’s note: This was a long first track but I got through it, wooh! Kanato is definitely a bit of a spoiled brat in this. I thought it was starting out nice with the very peaceful monologue but then it went straight to him smashing plates against the floor and throwing a tantrum. ;; That being said, I am curious how the plot of this CD will play out with an emotional, unstable character such as Kanato.
This track was requested by an anonymous user! If you would like to request a translation, please contact me through IMs or drop an ask!
Track 1 ll Track 2 ll Track 3 ll Track 4 ll Track 5
Track 1: The Demon that is Anxiety
Every fairytale ends the same way. The two lovers are united (1), finding their blessing. And they lived happily ever after. ー The End. Similarly, I obtained my ending in which I get to live alone with her.
Yet, my heart is filled with nothing but worries and anxiety. Has she truly become only mine? Exactly. I could not feel satisfied just from living my her side. I wanted to make her entire being mine. However, she remains out of my grasp. Just who does her blood, her body and her soul belong to?
Henceforth, as if a curse had been placed on me, I continued to ponder over how I could make her mine.
***
*SHATTER*
“Are you…trying to say these sweets are more important to you than I am…!!?”
*SHATTER*
You try and calm him down.
“Calm down…? As you can tell, I am clearly composed. …Aren’t you the one who is being weird right now!? To say that these sweets are the reason why you are living together with me…Unforgivable!”
You try and explain yourself.
“A misunderstanding? …That shouldn’t be the case. After all, day after day, you make such a happy expression only when you’re eating these sweets from the Demon World! You’re horrible…!!”
Kanato walks away a little.
“So this is why you’ve been together with me like this…Haah…Of course…It all makes sense now. Ugh!!”
*THUD*
You frown.
“I won’t allow you to feign ignorance now. You truly are a bad person for upsetting me this much. …Hey, have you realized how you’ve been tying me down this whole time?”
You shake your head.
“You haven’t? …You truly are dumb. Or are you doing it on purpose perhaps? You always take on that innocent attitude. Because of that, I end up thinking about you around the clock. I’m the only one who is being held captive…No matter how you look at it, this has to be unfair!
Therefore, please tell me right now. That you belong to me and me only. Prove it to me.”
You tell Kanato you like him.
“Is saying you like me really the best you can do? Hmm…’Like’, huh? Hah! Are you trying to trick me with those words which might as well come from a child’s mouth? Honestly, you are beyond belief.”
You repeat your words.
“Like I said…Just words isn’t enough! Prove to me that I’m the only one in your eyes, the only one on your mind…!!”
You hug him.
“Keh…What’s this? Even if you embrace me, it doesn’t make for any proof. This is somehting anyone can do after all.”
You seem at a loss.
“What you should do? There’s plenty of options, right!? For example…How about you become my little marionette? You’d listen to everything I say, living your life thinking only about me. Doesn’t that sound very lovely?”
You frown.
“Let’s see…For starters, change into this first. I prepared these clothes, figuring they would suit you very well.”
*Rustle*
You seem a little hesitant.
“What’s the matter? Hurry up and get changed. I wish you would trust me a little more…PUT IT ON ALREADY!!”
You flinch before nodding.
“Yes, just like that. Make it quick, okay?”
You start walking.
“Wait.”
You come to a halt.
“Hey, where are you trying to go? There’s no reason to go to a different room just to change. Please put it on here, right in front of me.”
You seem somewhat flustered.
“If you truly love me, you can do as much, right?”
You start to get changed.
“Heh…Fufufu~ You are very cute like that, changing clothes while clearly embarrassed. However…Ugh!”
He rips part of the outfit.
“I think it would look even better if we make the hem of the skirt just a little shorter.
Taking this part…Like this…”
*Riiiiiip*
“About this length…Don’t move, okay!? It makes it difficult. Ugh…Ugh…!!”
*Rustle rustle*
“WHY WON’T YOU LISTEN TO WHAT I’M SAYING!?”
You seem distressed.
“What’s the matter? …Ah, you’re bleeding it seems. I only wanted to cut your clothes, but I must have made a mistake. Ah-aaah~”
Kanato pins you against the wall.
*Thud*
“Tell me…What must I do for you to be a good girl? I wonder if I should just…turn you into a Vampire already? In that case, you too will…”
You try and push him away.
“…!? What are you doing, all of a sudden!?”
You once again try and get your point across.
“I’ve been telling you this the whole time, I just can’t trust you on your word. Haah… I thought that finally…my curse would be lifted…”
You tilt your head.
“It’s nothing. More importantly, what other methods will you use to prove to me that you are mine?”
Kanato grabs hold of your arm.
“Answer me…Please…”
You convey your feelings again.
“Haah…That again? Even though I’m telling you just words aren’t enough.”
You repeat yourself.
“I’m tired of hearing your ‘I like you, I like you’. …Whatever. Just being told you like me smells of a lie. Please try specifying what part of me you like.”
You reply.
“…’Everything’? What is this ‘everything’? Rather than giving me such a vague concept, please try naming them one by one.”
You start naming everything you like about him.
“My voice and…face? That’s all?”
You continue.
“The color of my eyes and hair. What else?”
You continue once more.
“My expressions and…heart (2)? What do you mean with ‘heart’?”
You explain yourself.
“My feelings of…wanting to keep you all for myself? You mean to imply you like that as well?”
You nod.
“Why?”
You explain.
“Because that’s what makes me who I am? You like my entire being, huh? Haah…You really are a fool.”
Kanato embraces you.
“Very well. I’ll forgive you for today. I accidentally lost my temper as well. However, you are still to blame.”
*Smooch*
“Because you make me anxious with your ambiguous attitude. Isn’t that right?”
You apologize.
“Fufu~ In that case…I suppose I should punish you. Please repent with your body, so you’ll never make me worry like that again. You want my fangs, don’t you..?”
You shake your head.
“There is no point in denying it. I can read you like a book after all. …Right?”
Kanato bites you.
*Gulp gulp*
“Mm…Haah…Aah~ No matter when I suck it, your blood is always so delicious.”
*Sluuurp*
“…Fufu~ Piercing deep holes through these cute ears of yours and putting accessoires on them so they won’t disappear might be nice as well. Haahn…Mmh…”
*Gulp*
“However, if I were to do that, I wouldn’t be able to suck from your ears again. What to do?”
*Gulp gulp*
“Haah…You’ll still love me, even after being punished like this, right?”
He continues to drink your blood.
“…Are you listening to me? Don’t just space out. If you don’t give me an answer, I’ll have to hurt you.”
*Sluuuuurp*
“Your reply?”
You nod.
“Fufu~ Just as I thought. Mm…”
*Smooch*
“Of course. You like this. You like feeling my fangs sink deep into your flesh, inflicting pain upon you. …That’s okay. I’ll give you aaaall the things you like~”
Kanato bites you once more.
“Mmh…You are mine and in the same way…I also belong to you.”
***
A few months have passed since we came to this manor. Every day consists of this same arguing back and forth. It is something vital for me to be able to remain myself. Even though I finally have her as mine, and she acknowledges this herself as well. We may be living together like this, but I still can’t seem to shake off this feeling of anxiety.
However, in the progress, I am able to experience how she belongs to me. Even if uncertain and temporary, at that very moment, I felt fulfilled.
Without realizing, we had been approached by the one who covers everything in a deep darkness, the demon that is anxiety.
I wonder when I will finally be able to trust her?
ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー
Translation notes
(1) 結ばれる or ‘musubareru’ already has that (possible) connotation of being united/connected through marriage.
(2) In Japanese, the word 心 or ‘kokoro’, while often translated as ‘heart’ does not refer to the actual organ. Instead, it refers to a person’s emotions, feelings, soul, mind, etc. depending on the context.
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